It's in the Sky

So I'm very disappointed that people do not care that an asteroid just passed by! Like its just been normal day, and like as usual. Now it didn't physically effect anyone, for what we know. Nor did it cause any changes that we look at with our eye, but there is a change. For me the change is that ive never seen that happen before. That's amazing! A rock that's traveling through space has just now stopped in to say hello. But did anyone else say hello back... Or even wave? It's just such a bigger thing than how little we made..! So that's just how I feel...

Always a Brighter Light Ahead

Since I was young I've had a since of no fear, that things ill do and go thur it would be ok. It's always been my strength this over anything else I'm happy thinking. You could say I was born with a positive attitude. I believe things work them selves out and can and will be ok. I've seen some negative things and been in some very hard and sad situations but I still feel this warm blanket we will call it. And I know really know its ok. It's not a bad thing to be positive and open for hurt and pain knowing that its ok. Excepting people and situations no matter what and who and what the bad out come maybe. For me its more than a decision, or something I have to tell myself. It happens on its own. It's awesome and wonderful and its one of many things that make me who I am and I'm grateful that me! And that's how I feel...

Just That...

I'm pissed ok. I'm angry and upset. I am mad. Im mad that I wasted my time trying to do what I felt was right. I'm pissed I opened my self up, gave a piece of me, and opened up to be more than who I've been. I'm upset that I "waited to long" and let things seem like that were not that important that I didnt tell anyone. I'm angry that that you made a choice to be a certain understanding, that you weren't honest, that you hurt me when you promised you wouldn't, and that you let someone else make me out to be something other than who you know me to be. And I'm mad that I thought I knew you, mad that you don't want to talk or see me anymore, mad that you didn't want to try, and mad that you'd let me feel upset, angry, pissed, and mad and not do something to change it. I did it for you. I have to let go, so I forgive. But it is what it is and I don't like it, and that's how I feel...

In Place of Yourself

I'm to expect that things are just what they are. I'm told that's just how it is, or that people are just that way. The world is not nice and have a way of just being mean. I've seen some situations and been in a few of my own but I know the fire. It's hot, don't touch the fire, but my hand goes back in every time. I know there are learning to all things good and bad. I've learned many things. But I know me and to change myself because someone else is mean or hurtful or just not in the right of knowing them selves is not what I would do. No one should stop being who they are and change that due to another's actions. Stay open caring and love, believe in you and never stop believing in yourself. That's how I feel...

I Do

I don't want to think of you
I dont want the dreams
I don't want the weight of it anymore
I don't want to maybe later
I don't want to maybe with time
I don't want to lose my feelings
But I never wanted to lose you
I don't care about maybe your not the one
Because I care that you are the one to me
I don't care that I have to move on
I don't care I will let go
But my feellings will never change
Because I care to much about me to change over you

A Point of Interest Feeling

Well hello, waned to start this to express feelings and emotions that seem to be new coming to myself. It could be overly excite moments of happy or really low places of hurt, but Id like to share my self with you and maybe open up new feelings for myself to. Well right now i am feeling a lot of things but what is out there in the open is how open ive become about how I feel. But how closed I am to expess those feelings. The last few years ive gone from being closed and keeping feelings to myself to being open and feeling and letting it out. Ive noticed that I feel love/desire/passion im more to keep it to myself than fully letting it out. I may have times to show and say something but i mostly keep it to me. But, yes but, when the feelings turn to lost/hurt/lonely im like a crazy person running around doing all the things i can, if not more, to show i do care. But i relized ive had this whole time, and i get confused. I feel like I get tunnel vision when i could be telling my feeling and contraying them complete. It gets relaxed in knowing that it will be there, but thats not right. I should always feel the need to show I care or worry or hurt. Example i was in a court and after not being able to get off on charge i was fined. When i left i was upset/sad/hurt but i was more showing that i was angry/pained. At the time i wanted to be hugged and told its ok and allow someone to be that comfort, instead i pushed away and was not accepting of any care/support. Even though thats what i wanted and need. Selfishness, over-reacting, negitve, acting out, feeling sorry for self. I have a long way to go, and its going to be uphill all the way. But maybe someone, not only myself can learn and open up and benefit from these writings. So remember to not be ruled by your feelings but accept them and be open to them. I will too!